Regina Pulido
Mrs. Boresen
Expository Writing, p-4
Essay
2/2/09
A set of relations
Lets act like a family! Any family would say that if they felt like their family relations weren't strong enough. In fact family relations or a set of relations is the actual definition of the term family. A lot of people will wonder how a family should always act towards eachother, when in reality, a family should have a set good relations. The main 7 things you should have when it comes to family is "commitment, freedom, respect, support, equality, healthy conflict resolution, trust." As far as commitment, you want to have a healthy relationship in which it can grow. It takes effort and "a strong relationship requires continuous nurturing.
" Every family should have freedom in doing certain things the way we want to do them, also in a way where we can be ourselves. You must also have respect, as Uretha Franklin sang it, "is a critical component of freedom. Respect is a positive support to your relative. "Support those you care about." Support is an important factor in any relationship. Having support gives us strength and reassurance.
Treat everyone in your family as an equal. A parent-child relationship is fine for teens and below, but among partners, friends, and adult children and their parents, without the underlying recognition of equality, respect is limited, support is more controlling than supportive, and commitment is probably more toward control than growth." Not being equal with family can cause an affect with side taking. You need to have a healthy conflict resolution with relatives of yours. Rough edges and bad times can occur within a family. There will be disagreements, differences of opinion, and even disappointments of behavior.
A knowledge of techniques and dedication to resolve conflicts with respect, support, and equality can actually strengthen a relationship. Unstated is the recognition of "look what we've gone through together. We're strong." With everything else, you need to have trust with your relatives, and as alot of people would say "trust is a relationship glue." Trust could have been one of the first steps mentioned as it results towards an attitude. The trust you put towards eachother should be equal and with that equality of respect you should be able to grand freedom. Some say trust is earned, which it is. You have to be willing to show that you have trust and your actions may also depend on that.
"If someone distrusts you until you prove trustworthy, you cannot provide the freedom, respect, and support that nurtures and strengthens a relationship. The seven steps of a strong relationship do not come serially, one after the other. They are all important and must be simultaneously present. It is helpful though to consider them as step by step tools for building a strong relationship and commitment does come first, as the foundation for stable and strong relationships. When we commit to something, it happens. The steps can be can be different viewing from your life perspectives of seeing things. Like me for example, I view each family member different based on their actions.
Your steps are seen on each family member and how they carry themselves as a person, which also leads to how much you are willing to trust them. With all the steps which again were commitment, freedom, respect, support, equality, healthy conflict resolution, trust all have good points. I was always told by my step dad "be remembered for doing something good, not for doing something bad. I know alot of you may only do things just to be cool but you should do something to make you look like a good person. You may get more offers and friendlier compliments if someone remembers you for the good in you. Who knows! You may have a great opportunity that may change your life. So whenever you happen to finish reading this, think about a relative you have disrespected in the past or even a friend who is close enough to be family and apologize for how you acted towards them, even have a deep conversation with them. Here is a quote by Christopher Lasch. "The family is a haven in a heartless world." Another quote by Margaret Mead had said "nobody has ever before asked the nuclear family to live all by itself in a box the way we do. With no relatives, no support, we've put it in an impossible situation." Anything can be possible to work within a family which is why you need to have trust and alot of other things that a family has.
